The Truth "They" Don't Want You to Know

Conspiracy Corner Presents: Liberty Pilgrim

Good evening, I’m Liberty Pilgrim, in for Noam Chomsky, and this is Conspiracy Corner. Tonight we’ll be dealing with a conspiracy theory that stems entirely from a secret right-wing agenda to control the pace of research and “stem” the flow of abortion.
As you may remember, in early 2001, the Tri-Lateral Commission forced President Bush to oppose embryonic stem-cell research because the Grays are concerned that advanced genetic knowledge on the part of the human race will uncover their own sinister experiments.
The CIA has been turning a blind eye for years as the Grays have kidnaped thousands if not millions of humans and performed intrusive and painful anal probes and conducted inter-species sexual relations with them. Until recently, the purpose of these experiments has remained elusive.
But, after communing with the Trees today, I have uncovered the answer. I was anxiously checking my email today to see if anyone had posted comments as to my last broadcast: “Did Chandra Levy Discover that Gary Condit is Actually an Alien?” when I discovered twelve “spam” emails asking me if I wanted to enlarge my penis. Since my penis was forcibly taken from me by the Grays in my previous life as John F. Kennedy (see my article, “The Real Findings of the Warren Commission,” I first thought this “spamming” must be some kind of mistake. Then I started thinking about the real issues, like what is “spam,” and who would benefit from “enlarging” my no-longer-existing penis?


This is a picture of me in my previous incarnation. 

I must admit that I was at a loss until a high-placed friend in the Secret Service told me about Ronald Reagan’s assassination. I mean, hasn’t anyone noticed that no one ever had Alzheimer’s until after the Roswell Crash of 1947? It’s not like these diseases appear out of nowhere. Then I started thinking about how everyone thinks that embryonic stem cells could potentially contain the cure to thousands of diseases like Alzheimer’s. If this was obviously the case, who would stand to gain from limiting the number of embryonic stem cells in circulation? As usual, the answer turns out to be. . . The Government and its Big Brothers, Big Business and the Grays.
The right-wing cabal in control of our government has no desire to see its biggest campaign donors, the Grays and the drug companies disabled by miracle cures. Instead, the Bush Junta has attempted to distract the scientists by focusing their attention on adult stem cells. The problem with adult stem cells for human researchers is that they are both already specialized and harder to come by. The most effective means of obtaining adult stem cells is from the sex organs. Just as an aside, the other major scientists interested in adult stem cells are the Grays, hence the anal probes and inter-species sex.
What better way to develop a pool of “willing” experimental donors than to consistently flood the communications networks with “spam” asking men if they want to enlarge their penises?
Documentation I have obtained that is still classified shows evidence of a sinister Gray plot. The Grays “tag” the unwitting victims who take these enlargement formulas. These enlargement formulas truly do nothing except promote the growth of adult stem cells. At a later date, our not-so- friendly neighbors from the heavens swing by and collect the victims and their increased adult stem cells. If you’re not convinced, check out Whitley Streiber’s influential article “The Nephilim: The Real Reason Ancient Peoples Practiced Circumcision.” Until then, you’re just a (excuse the pun) tool of the system. This has been Liberty Pilgrim for Conspiracy Corner.