Nation Gearing Up for Star-Studded Funeral to Mourn Reagan
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced, with yet another self-pointing movie reference, "Reagan's funeral will be the greatest Action Funeral the state of California has ever seen!"
Actor Charlton Heston has agreed to play Ronald Reagan in a 'modern retelling' of "Bedtime for Bonzo." The 1950's comedy will be remade with modern political overtones. Former Russian prime minister Mikhail Gobachev has agreed to a cameo in an epilogue to the film in which he and Boris Yeltzin will shotgun bottles of vodka in mourning of the former Leader of the Free World while the soundtrack continuosly blares Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall".
No word on whether the monkey from "Friends" has agreed to play the role of Bonzo. Roddy MacDowell has agreed to stand-in for the monkey in the event of a scheduling conflict.
Former President Clinton has agreed to have "simulated" oral sex on camera with a Reagan-era intern as a monument to the love Reagan held for the American dream.
Actor Roddy MacDowell has agreed to stand in for the monkey from "Friends" in the remake of "Bedtime for Bonzo."
To mark the impact Reagan's presidency had on the Arab world, Osama Bin Ladin has sent to the Reagan library a copy of a bounced check the former president sent him during the mid 1980's. The memo section of the check reportedly reads "Weapons of frightening power to be used against Soviet infidels."
CNN will continue to play continuous security camera footage of Reagan's coffin while current President Bush plans to "accidentally" bomb a French embassy as a tribute to the former president, "I'm gonna go bomb one for the Gipper."
Presumed Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry has gone on a hunger strike for campaign donations this week and is apparently being fed money intravenously by a trade union steward. According to Democratic chairman Terry McAuliffe, the tragic death of former President Reagan due to Alzheimer's has not ruled out the possibility that he will be asked to be Senator Kerry's running mate.
This is celebrity host David Hasselhoff, in for Khalid Azar, who is currently in the bathroom. You're watching NRA Time Warner AOL RJ Reynold MSN CNN FOX, where the news happens so fast you'd think we're making it up as we go along.
Actor Charlton Heston has agreed to play Ronald Reagan in a 'modern retelling' of "Bedtime for Bonzo." The 1950's comedy will be remade with modern political overtones. Former Russian prime minister Mikhail Gobachev has agreed to a cameo in an epilogue to the film in which he and Boris Yeltzin will shotgun bottles of vodka in mourning of the former Leader of the Free World while the soundtrack continuosly blares Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall".
No word on whether the monkey from "Friends" has agreed to play the role of Bonzo. Roddy MacDowell has agreed to stand-in for the monkey in the event of a scheduling conflict.
Former President Clinton has agreed to have "simulated" oral sex on camera with a Reagan-era intern as a monument to the love Reagan held for the American dream.
Actor Roddy MacDowell has agreed to stand in for the monkey from "Friends" in the remake of "Bedtime for Bonzo."
To mark the impact Reagan's presidency had on the Arab world, Osama Bin Ladin has sent to the Reagan library a copy of a bounced check the former president sent him during the mid 1980's. The memo section of the check reportedly reads "Weapons of frightening power to be used against Soviet infidels."
CNN will continue to play continuous security camera footage of Reagan's coffin while current President Bush plans to "accidentally" bomb a French embassy as a tribute to the former president, "I'm gonna go bomb one for the Gipper."
Presumed Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry has gone on a hunger strike for campaign donations this week and is apparently being fed money intravenously by a trade union steward. According to Democratic chairman Terry McAuliffe, the tragic death of former President Reagan due to Alzheimer's has not ruled out the possibility that he will be asked to be Senator Kerry's running mate.
This is celebrity host David Hasselhoff, in for Khalid Azar, who is currently in the bathroom. You're watching NRA Time Warner AOL RJ Reynold MSN CNN FOX, where the news happens so fast you'd think we're making it up as we go along.
posted by Kevin E. Cleary | 5:06 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home